Divaldo Alves' Application Letter For The Manchester United Job

Dear Mr Glazer

It is I, Divaldo Alves, tactical genius. I am writing this letter to you for the purpose of applying for the job of manager for your club, Manchester United.

Now, I hear you saying, "But Mr Alves, we already have a manager. Why on earth do we need you? And were you not sacked by your last club?". Well, this is where you are mistaken. It is obvious that your club is in dire need of a tactical mastermind such as myself, since David Moyes seems to be doing a terrible job. How can one pick up only 1 point and 1 goal against 3 of your rivals? Add to the fact that you lost 4-1 to Manchester City. In my time as manager of Negeri Sembilan, we have never lost by more than 2 goals, an indication of my tactical ingenuity, and we certainly picked up more than a point against our rivals. Sadly, genius is never appreciated during its time, which is why my time with them was short.

To further stress my qualities, thanks to my efforts, Negeri Sembilan will be playing in a new league next season. Can your Moyes do that? Of course not. I was also able to solve the problem of this misfiring striker we had, and once that was done, we were back in the scoring business. At this stage of the season in our league, we certainly would not be challenging for the Europa League. Instead, we were after better things, such as competing in a more competitive league (in my opinion). If this has not shown my capabilities, then I don't know what will.

Furthermore, I was questioned as to why I do not play youngsters during my time. It is ridiculous. Everyone knows you don't win anything with kids. That was why I insisted on playing the oldies, because of their experience. Never mind the fact that some of them clearly cannot play the full game anymore. If I were to manage your club, Ryan Giggs will start every match as a captain, and Zaha and Januzaj will be sold to some 3rd division club in Ukraine. Also, in spirit of Asian solidarity, I will give your star playmaker who wears the shirt number 26, Park Ji-Sung, a more prominent role in the squad.

And yes, while I realize that Moyes engineered a win over Liverpool last night, it is a feat which is expected from any manager really. Which is why I will be taking over, since he already lost the first time around.

I will be waiting for your answer. Which will definitely be 'yes', since no sane person would turn down a genius such as me

Geniusly yours,
Divaldo Alves

J.A.N.G - Mangkuk Botingkek

Jang!!
Mangkukmu botingkek tingkek 5x
Den nak layan pun dah ponek

Koba nak gi rayo
Torpakso tunggu lamo
Tunggu oghang tompi takdo
Ekau pulak nak mongado
Den balik bilik ekau takdo
Takdo koba poie mano
Elok ekau balik Kolumpo
Dah la tak ghoti tutup lampu

Mangkukmu botingkek tingkek (7x)
Den nak layan pun dah ponek

Koba nak gi rayo
Torpakso tunggu lamo
Tunggu oghang tompi takdo
Ekau pulak nak mongado
Den balik bilik ekau takdo
Takdo koba poie mano
Elok ekau balik Kolumpo
Dah la tak ghoti tutup lampu

Mangkukmu botingkek tingkek
Den nak layan memang ponek
Baik den duk kek Bongek
Lopeh tu drive ko Gomeh
Jangan kito nyusahkan oghang
Tak kiro samo milah ko jang
Nanti kito gak yang susah
Apo kito nak jawab kaghang?

Ekau jangan solalu suko-suko
Tak lamo nanti borduko
Mari kito poie rayo
Boleh jumpo kawan baghu
Jangan malu nak tanyo namo
Nanti boleh lepak samo-samo
Ado satu den nak mintak tolong
Dah bosa nanti kito semuo jangan dilupo

Sosal komudian takdo guno
Den ghaso mombazir maso
Tolong boli tiket tuk ekau
Tompi ekau lari maso rayo
Ekau buek den paneh
Darah den dah mondidih
Den nak koba satu bondo
Ekau memang mangkuk tingkek

Mangkukmu botingkek tingkek 7x
Den nak layan pun dah ponek

Okay esey on
ekau pun on
Tengok sapo laie champion
Meh kito poie pantai
Sapo monang monyolam (you're on!)

Ekau hari hari poie gym
Lopeh tu nak tunjuk body
Ekau jangan jobo bona
Kalau ekau tak nak bolaja

Nismilan susah nak monang
Takpo Pialo Malaysia kito pogang
Biar musuh kito bongang
Bilo tengok pialo Tok Mat julang

You're in The State of Nine, that blog of mine
Makin parodies ain't a crime
Den suko mo JB
Tompi bukan si ponyanyi
Meh sini den kobakan
Jenson Button la, sapo laie
Milah jangan la monangih
Bilo den koba dio tak ghoti nyanyi
Somban waghih representin
& everyone knows who runs it
This aint about me this about the city
Jangan kito lupo asal usul
Bilo dah borjayo jangan jobo
Nanti oghang tinggalkan ekau
Kawan pun dah lari samo
Up down kito samo
Jangan ditolak topi, kito rugi
Tak payah duk koja milah
Last last kojo kutip sampah
Hujung minggu lepak Pilah
Samo-samo layan shisha
Lepak dongan kawan, best what!

Tak salah koja ghoto
Boli apo ekau suko
Tompi kalau duit ekau takdo
Takyah boli kot tak mampu

Budak sokaghang sumo nak sonang
Tak nak koluar wang
Bilo dio dah boghutang
Dio pulak salahkan oghang

Mangkukmu botingkek tingkek 7x
Den nak layan pun dah ponek

Haha
Jang
Ekau yang terpilih

How Divaldo Alves' Day Went

TIME : Approximately 24 hours before kick-off
Huh. So PBNS have decided to put me on gardening leave ahead of tomorrow's clash against ATM. As if that's gonna do the team any good. The players haven't been playing that well anyway. Putting a local coach in charge? Like that's gonna make any difference. The team will lose tomorrow, and soon they will be all "oh great tactical genius Divaldo, please come back, we were wrong to drop you". And then I will be like, "You fools! You dare drop me, Divaldo Alves, in the idiotic thought that you might actually get a win? Now bow down to me and admit my tactical genius!"

TIME : 20 minutes before kick-off
Wait, no Marlon in the ATM lineup? No matter, they will win anyway, since this new guy is putting players out of position and will end up looking like a fool at the end of the game

TIME : 2nd minute
Holy crap, the jinx actually scored? This is not going according to plan at all. If Negeri win they will forget all about me and love the new guy. No matter, the team can't hold on to a lead for long anyway

TIME : Whenever it was that Hairuddin equalised
BOOM! Told ya! The team will never break their no-win streak. Not as long as I am around. Divaldo Alves, tactical genius!

TIME : Nazrin's goal
What the hell is going on? Nazrin scored? That kid always thought hitting the post counted as extra points. Maybe the new coach confused him into actually scoring? Witchcraft, definitely

TIME : Half-time (ATM 1-2 N9)
Okay, Divaldo, okay. There's still 45 minutes to go. ATM can win this for sure even without Hairuddin in the team and I can have my job back. The team could not win with I, tactical master Divaldo Alves, so what chance do they have with the new guy?

TIME : 60th minute
This is getting nervy. Since when do they know how to hold on to a lead?

TIME : 75th minute
With these substitutions the new guy made it clearly shows he doesn't know what he's doing. What more with players out of their positions. I can definitely see ATM getting 2 quick goals, and me getting my job back

TIME : 85th minute 
ATM JUST SCORE A DAMN GOAL FOR GOD'S SAKE!!!

TIME : Full-time (ATM 1-2 N9)
This is definitely not what I had in mind. It was I, Divaldo Alves, the tactical genius who was supposed to engineer a first win for the team this season and be hailed as a hero by the masses. Instead, a random newbie did it and the fans already love him. They were supposed to love me! Also, those glasses make him look stupid. Clearly I have a better fashion sense. I'd go to NS Betaria and ruin them, but they already did that to themselves. What next for me, you ask? I think the Everton job is available...

Bruno Saturn is now Bruno Mustafar

due to possible confusion between our Bruno and an actual 'Bruno Saturn', we are glad to announce that our Bruno has legally changed his name to 'Bruno Mustafar', after that volcanic planet on Star Wars that saw Obi-Wan and Anakin battle it out

in other news, this is a REALLY slow news day. kthxbai

The Golden Skateboards Award 2011

Hello all, we are back the 2011 edition of the Skaties! Last year's inaugural edition saw many first-time winners walking away with this prestigious award. For those who are new to this, this award honours (in some cases, dishonours) those who have accomplished great things in the past year. Each winner gets to take home a, yep, you guessed it, a golden skateboard.

Above is the prestigious Skatie that each winner gets to take home with them. This year, each Skatie is laced with adamantium so that it won't be melted down and sold to pawn shops, as some of our winners did last year. We've also planted GPS trackers in each trophy in case they go missing, and the winners can trace them

Each year, five candidates are chosen for each category, and the public must vote for who they think deserves the award the most. As previously mentioned, this award may or may not be a good thing for the winners

Right, let's move on to the categories, candidates and winners

Man of the Year

Candidates

Steve Jobs

Barack Obama

Najib Razak

Dalai Lama

Mario Balotelli

Winner

Mario Balotelli - who else can go from throwing darts at youth players one day, to helping a kid confront his bully at school the next? Can Obama do that? Or even Jobs? No, didn't think so either. Although Steve Jobs might have created an app for it

Controversy of the Year

Candidates

Tevez not playing

Englishgate

Trialgate

Osama's 'death'

Davis' Family Vacation

Winner

Englishgate - this incident brought the 5 Muzaffarians together and bound stronger as a result

Comeback of the Year

Candidates

Man United vs Man City (Community Shield)

Man United's unbeaten league run since THAT thrashing

Avril Lavigne with new hits

The NBA actually starting

Tony Stewart

Winner

The NBA actually starting - some of us have resigned to transferring to China to watch the CBL, and even contemplated going to Italy just to see Kobe Bryant play. But now the NBA is back! All hail capitalism!

Fanboys of the Year

Candidates

Call of Duty fanboys

Assassin's Creed fanboys

Skyrim fanboys

Battlefield fanboys

Mario Kart fanboys

Winner

Battlefield fanboys - an obvious choice. For who else can say their game is a bajillion times better than Call of Duty - despite neither game being out when the debate began? We totally see the logic there, BF fanboys

Footballer of the Year

Candidates

Cristiano Ronaldo

Wayne Rooney

That guy who plays somewhere in Samoa

Luis Suarez

Me

Winner

Luis Suarez - a wholesome figure, he is a good role model for children everywhere. You will never see him bite someone in the shoulder, using his hands to stop a goal and using a racist word towards other playe...what's that? 8-game ban? For racism? Oi, get back here you numpty!

Villain of the Year

Candidates

Every other US soldier

Justine Bieber

Anwar Ibrahim

Vladimir Makarov

Grayson Chan

Winner

Justine Bieber - who else can polarise the world and basically separate all humanity into 2 groups? This person is clearly more dangerous than Magneto, Dr Doom, Makarov, Joker, Lex Luthor and Anwar combined!

Blogger of the Year

Candidates

Firdaus

Azzally

Sarah

Hisan

Izham

Winner

Sarah - she's the only one who's been updating her blog, so this was an easy decision. Get on that keyboard, you slackers!

Tweeter of the Year

Candidates

Rio Ferdinand

Michael Owen

Firdaus

Hisan

Tim Le Cat

Winner

Tim Le Cat - Tim's a tweeting cat. Clearly the winner here

RayBan Model of the Year

Candidates

Firdaus

Saiful

Izham

Fitri

Kishon

Winner

Firdaus - totally pulling off the male-model look. Now can you please get that hidden blade out of my face?

And that concludes this year's Golden Skateboards Award. If you have any suggestions for any future awards, or think that your favourite should have won, feel free to leave a comment on this post or in the shoutbox. It won't change the results, but at least you will feel better

Don't forget to pick up a can of Pringles on your way out, prepared exclusively by our sponsors for this year. Just ask for your favourite flavour!

Until we meet again

------------------------------------

LATE ENTRY!!!

Due to popular demand, a new category has been added yesterday. Voting ended at 2200 Malaysian time last night, and these are the results

A-Hole of the Year

Candidates

That British guy

Kyle Busch

Kurt Busch

Lewis Hamilton

That other British guy

Winner

That British guy - for successfully setting me back a few more years with his recent antics. I took most of my life at high school to do it, but he's managed to undo it all in less than a year. He could win the 'Douchebag of the Year' award as well if we had held it this year

Bruno Saturn - It Will Hail

If you ever sue me, baby,
Leave some lawyers at my door
'Cause it would take a whole lot of subpoenas
To realize what banks we used to rob,
We don't rob them anymore

There's no injunction that could save me
No matter how long before Torres will score
So keep in mind all the human sacrifices I'm makin'
To keep you from suing me
To keep you from walkin' out the door (with my cash)

'Cause there'll be no sunshine
If I lose this case, baby
There'll be no clear skies
If I lose this case, baby
Just like the clouds
My lawyers will do the same, if you win the case
Everyday, it'll hail, hail, hail

I'll never be the judge's favorite
Your witnesses can't even look me in the eye
Ooh, if I was in their shoes, I won't be doing the same thing
Sayin' "There goes my client
Walkin' with that criminalish guy"

But they just hate me from day one
Ooh, is it because I'm not that Bieber creature?
Yeah for them I'll try I'll try I'll try
The Bieber creature can insult Islam and get away with it
And it makes me wonder why?

'Cause there'll be no sunshine
If I lose this case, baby
There'll be no clear skies
If I lose this case, baby
Just like the clouds
My lawyers will do the same, if you win the case
Everyday, it'll hail, hail, hail

Don't just say guilty,
Don't just say guilty
At least tell me what I did wrong
So I can blame the government

'Cause there'll be no sunshine
If I lose this case, baby
There'll be no clear skies
If I lose this case, baby
Just like the clouds
My lawyers will do the same, if you win the case
Everyday, it'll hail, hail, hail

Plain White Robes - Rhythm of Kill

the Plain White Robes - Luigi (bass), Alessandro (drums), Ezio (lead singer, guitar), Gianluigi (guitar), Giuseppe (bass)

I am stuck in the house
He begs me not to kill him
Says, "Boy, I got a wife and 3 kids"
I told him, "Shut up you stupid Templar
We are gonna win the war
We'll fight till your blood spills
As the world turns to the rhythm of kill"

We may only have one shot
But till the guards come, you're dead
All dead
Aim the crossbow low
And sway to the rhythm of kill

My sword swings like an axe
Juiced up way to the max
A beautiful death rattle from you
You remind me of that dead Jew
That blocked my way to the park
He fell down like Busquests
The moment my sword met his face

We may only have one shot
But till the guards come, you're dead
All dead
Aim the crossbow low
And sway to the rhythm of kill

When the moon is low
I chase you in slow motion
And all your pain will subside
All your blood will dry

And long after I've gone
Desmond will keep me going on
And I live on in his mind
And drive him off the wall sometimes

We may only have one shot
But till the guards come, you're dead
All dead
Aim the crossbow low
And sway to the rhythm of kill
Aim the crossbow low
And sway to the rhythm of kill
Yeah, sway to the rhythm of kill  

(Requescat in Pace) 

Amukan Pengawas di Sekolah

SEREMBAN, 15 Julai - Gara-gara tidak puas hati kerana tidak menjadi pengawas lagi, beberapa orang pengawas di sekolah terkenal di bandar ini telah membakar beberapa bahagian sekolah tersebut.


Kejadian tersebut dipercayai berlaku pada jam 10.30 malam, tatkala pak guard sedang nyeyak tidur di pos kawalannya. Dipercayai bahawa beberapa orang bekas pengawas ini menyalakan api yang besar ketika kem pemimpin pelajar sekolah ini sedang berlangsung untuk menunjukkan ketidakpuasan hati mereka apabila terpaksa meletakkan jawatan pada minggu hadapan.


Salah seorang daripada mereka, yang hanya mahu dikenali sebagai Wan, berkata "Sebelum ini adalah menjadi cita-cita saya untuk menjadi ketua pemimpin pelajar, dan alhamdulillah saya diberikan amanah tersebut pada tahun lalu. Namun belum genap setahun pun, saya dipaksa meletakkan jawatan saya. Mana adil!", sebelum menyatakan sesuatu mengenai polisi perpindahan pemain Arsene Wenger.


Beberapa orang bekas pengawas kemudiannya melakukan rusuhan di kolam renang. Mereka kemudiannya mengisi kolam itu dengan air, atas alasan untuk menyukarkan mereka yang tidak pandai berenang sekembalinya mereka ke sekolah.


Satu blok sekolah tersebut telah hangus dijilat api sehingga terpaksa dicat semula. Salah seorang guru berkata "Kami terpaksa membelanjakan wang yang banyak untuk mengecat semula blok ini. Salah kami juga kerana kami tidak sedar tempoh mereka menjadi pengawas ialah selama 363 hari sahaja. Namun, mengapakah mereka harus menjadikan rumput di hadapan kiosk itu sebagai mangsa juga? Dahulu di situ penuh rumput, sekarang tinggal batu kerikil sahaja", sebelum diberitahu bahawa rumput itu sebenarnya telah dimakan seekor lembu yang memakai cermin mata dan menggelarkan dirinya sebagai 'Legend F5'.


gambar kredit kepada Nur Amalina, diambil tanpa kebenaran. get well soon!

OMFG - Party Moo Anthem

OMFG with a song as a tribute to Izham!

PARTY MOO
YEA
Wooo!!!!
LET'S GO!!
Party moo is in the barn tonight
Everybody just have a moo time
And we gonna make you milk the cows
Everybody just have a moo time [X2]

We just wanna see yaa!

Milk It !

In the barn party moo, look up on your cow
It on my list non stop when we in the spot
Cow move away like she on the block
Watafa I need to know
Natural leather cause I'm the milkman
Half cream half decaf milk out
Gain the money out the door

Yoooo!!
I'm runnin through these cows like Draco
I got that angelic flow steak and fries no XBox's Halo
We party moo yea! that's the cow that I'm milking
With some fries on the top no veg in my cheesesteak
Hey!!!

Party moo is in the barn tonight
Everybody just have a moo time
And we gonna make you milk the cows
Everybody just have a moo time [X2]

 
We just wanna see yaa!

Every day I'm milkin

Milkin milkin

Step up fast and be the first one to make me buy your milk
We get money don't be mad now stop yogurt is bad

One more shot for us
Another round
Please fill up my bucket
Don't mess around
We just wanna see
You shake it now
Now you wanna be
You're milked now

Get up get down put your hands up to the source [X3]
Put your hands up to the source [X2]
Get up [X9]
Put your hands up to the source
To the source
Put your hands up !!!!!

Party moo is in the house tonight
Everybody just have a moo time
And we gonna make you milk the cows
Everybody just have a moo moo moo time

Ohhohhhhh!!!Ohhhhhh!!!Put your hands up

Ohhohhhhh!!!Ohhhhh!!!Time to fill it now!!!!

Put your hands up Ohhohhhhh!!!Ohhhhhh!!!Put your hands up

Shake that!
Every day im mil-il-kin

Push up Push up

Push up Push up(YeahYeah)

Push up Push up(Woooo!!!)

Push up Push up
Put your hands up
Your hands up

Push your hands up

Every day im milkin

ps : ini adalah parody semata-mata. komen yang digunakan mungkin digunakan atau tidak oleh individu-individu tersebut dalam kehidupan seharian. hanya untuk mereka yang ada 'sense of humour'. tidak sesuai bagi mereka yang berumur 3 tahun ke bawah atau yang terlalu serius. tiada haiwan telah dicederakan dalam segmen ini. sila jangan ambil hati

segmen 'Mari Kita Komen' kembali di blog ini setelah 5 bulan menghilang. ketua editor kami di "The State of Nine" telah ditahan atas rambutnya yang 'panjang' pada awal minggu ini. apakah wajar seorang yang hampir botak ditugaskan untuk memantau rambut pelajar, sehingga tidak dapat membezakan antara rambut panjang dengan lebat?

"apa salahnya botak, jadi la macam saya ni. jom turun padang petang ni, bawak glove kamu"

-softball coach-

jom, coach. tapi masih tak jawab soalan kami lagi. biarkan je la, dah gian nak main sofbol

"saya rasa kamu ni sama ada tak suka memimpin atau lagi rela dipimpin. kenapa bukan ketua editor kamu sahaja yang tanya soalan ni?"

-disciplinarian-

sebab dah tugas kami wartawan...

"nanti saya buat sajak dulu pasal benda ni. tapi saya kena pergi Sarawak dulu"

-NAS-

sajak pun sajak la. tapi mikrofon kami dah rosak. nak kirim keychain sehelai boleh tak?

"cuba try buat rambut cam Ezio. mesti dia goyang punya"

-Jay-

bos kami dapat 'surat diraja', tu semua salah kau

"ada empat saksi yang adil tak? video je? maaf, itu besi, tak boleh dijadikan bukti"

-tok guru-

video tu .mpeg, bukan besi

"ini adalah PENGHINAAN terhadap golongan yang botak di sekolah ini. apakah anda tidak bersyukur sehingga menggunakan golongan ini dalam temuramah ini?"

-ex-Georgian 2010-

silap la minta pandangan dia lagi...

"time for the disgraces. first, Tim Howard gave his disgraces instead of me. that's a spotlight-stealing f***ing disgrace. then, my obese cat Kitier Katba went missing and turned up in Italy. that's a travel-miles enriching f***ing disgrace. then, Kalou deleted my FIFA 11 profile on my PS3. that's a time-wasting f***ing disgrace. later, Kalou offered a copy of Pro Evolution Soccer 2011 to make up for it. that's an inferior f***ing disgrace. Then, there were these two bald referee's who probably slap kittens and laugh about it cheated us out of the Champions League. that, that was a..."

-Didier D-

menyesal lak minta dia bagi pandangan

"the liberation of Roma has begun"

-Ezio A-

ni Seremban la...

nampaknya segmen "Mari Kita Komen" tamat di sini sahaja. sehingga bertemu pada masa yang akan datang, di mana kami akan menemuramah orang ramai mengenai pandangan mereka terhadap sesuatu isu

Bruno Saturn - Cut My Hair

Bruno Saturn returns for another hit, exclusive only at The State of Nine!

Bruno Saturn

It’s a beautiful day,
We’re looking for something dumb to do.
Hey kiddo,
I think I want you to cut my hair

Is it the look in their eyes,
Or is it this apple juice?
Who cares kiddo,
I think I want you to cut my hair

Well I know this barber shop on the street we can go,
Everyone will know,
Come on dude
Who cares if it's bad got a pocket full of hair cream we can use,
Shaver's on 2,
And it’s on dude

Don’t say no, no, no, no-no;
Just say yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah-yeah;
And we’ll cut, cut, cut-cut
If you’re ready, like I’m ready

Cause it’s a beautiful day,
We’re looking for something dumb to do.
Hey kiddo,
I think I want you to cut my hair

Is it the look in their eyes,
Or is it this apple juice?
Who cares kiddo,
I think I want you to cut my hair

I’ll go get a chair let you chop off some of my hair,

So whatcha wanna do?
Let’s just cut dude.
If I wake up and I'm bald that's not cool.
Yeah, I will blame you;
It ain't cool, dude

Don’t say no, no, no, no-no;
Just say yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah-yeah;
And we’ll cut, cut, cut-cut
If you’re ready, like I’m ready

 
Cause it’s a beautiful day,
We’re looking for something dumb to do.
Hey kiddo,
I think I want you to cut my hair

Is it the look in their eyes,
Or is it this apple juice?
Who cares kiddo,
I think I want you to cut my hair

Just say I will,
Tell me right now dude
Tell me right now dude x2

Cause it’s a beautiful day,
We’re looking for something dumb to do.
Hey kiddo,
I think I want you to cut my hair

Is it the look in their eyes,
Or is it this apple juice?
Who cares kiddo,
I think I want you to cut my hair

Daudsu™

KOTA BHARU, 15 Jun - Kumpulan penyokong Kelantan FA secara rasminya telah menghakciptakan nama Daudsu Jamaluddin, sekaligus menghalang mana-mana pihak untuk menggunakan namanya. Pihak ramai terpaksa menggunakan 'Daudsu™' dalam apa-apa penerbitan.

Jelas mereka, langkah ini adalah penting untuk mempelihara martabat nama wira mereka.

"Meskipun dia telah menjaringkan gol sendiri Sabtu lalu, namun kami masih menganggapnya sebagai wira kami. Kalau bukan kami yang sokong, siapa lagi?" kata wakil kelab tersebut, Abdul Rahman Musa.

Kelab itu juga telah menyaman beberapa pihak lain, termasuk kelab penyokong pasukan negeri lain, atas penggunaan nama Daudsu.

"Saya sebenarnya tidak tahu namanya sudah menjadi hak cipta. Jadi terpaksalah kami menggunankan D***s* sahaja di Facebook kami, serta menggunakan bahasa yang baku dan gramatis. Mereka juga tidak puas hati atas gurauan kami terhadap pasukan mereka dan juga D***s*, sehingga mencipta page yang, walaupun pada dasarnya mengutuk admin kami, tetapi sebenarnya mengutuk seluruh negeri kami," kata salah seorang AJK kelab penyokong pasukan bola sepak untuk sebuah negeri yang terletak di pantai barat Semenanjung Malaysia.

Apabila ditanya, Daudsu sendiri tidak mengetahui apa-apa mengenai perkara ini, sebaliknya hanya meminta kami untuk memberikannya segelas Milo ais yang telah dipesannya sejam sebelum itu.

Dalam perkembangan lain, blog ini telah menerima sepucuk surat saman daripada kelab penyokong Kelantan FA berhubung dengan penggunaan nama Daudsu di blog ini.

Hank McCoy ft. Bruno Saturn - Trillionaire

[Bruno]
I wanna be a trillionaire so freaking bad
Buy all the stuff I never had
Uh, I wanna be on the cover of Time magazine
Smiling next to Flanders and Charlie Sheen

[Chorus]
Oh every time I close my eyes
I fall down a flight of stairs
The same one every day oh
I swear the world better prepare
To pay all my bills

[Henry "Hank" McCoy]
Yeah I would have a show like Charlie
I would be the character of love
Give Hank a wish list
I’d probably punch Angelina and Brad Pitt
And adopt a their babies that ain’t never had lunch
Give away their BMWs like here dude have this
And last but not least give somebody their last meal
Its been a couple seconds since I’ve single so
You can call me Hank Claus minus the Ho Ho
Get it, hehe, I’d probably visit where Kyle Busch hit
And damn sure do a lot more than Harvick did
Yeah can’t remember about me smartie
Everywhere I go Imma have my own theme song


[Chorus]

Oh every time I close my eyes
I fall down a flight of stairs
The same one every day oh
I swear the world better prepare
To pay all my bills
Oh oooh oh oooh to pay all my bills
Oh oooh oh oooh to pay all my bills

[Henry "Hank" McCoy]
I’ll be playing basketball with Professor X
Dunking on his shiny dome
Then I’ll laugh at his wheelchair
Toss him in the air just for the heck of it
But then he got mad at me
And he tossed me into the basket
So he can practice his shots using my head
I’ll have the last laugh cause he can't even score
Then I heard the ground rumbling oh that was sore
And I remembered the X-Jet was under the court
So goodbye cruel world I'll be probably gone
I know we all had a dream in a dream
Go in your pocket pull out your ID
And toss it in the air and sing

[Bruno]
I wanna be a trillionaire so freaking bad
Buy all the stuff I never had
Uh, I wanna be on the cover of Time magazine
Smiling next to Flanders and Charlie Sheen
[Chorus]
I wanna be a trillionaire so freaking bad!

Gran Turismo 6 Confirmed!

yes, it will be released...sometime in 2034

Polyphony Digital have confirmed they are currently working on a new installment of their popular Gran Turismo series. In an exclusive interview with The State of Nine, Polyphony Digital confirmed this new installment will be optimized for PlayStation 4

"Actually, what people don't realise is we have been working on it since 2009. The delays for GT5? Those were mere marketing ploys that Yamauchi wanted us to do. We actually finished GT5 in 2008, but Yamauchi told us to wait," said a Polyphony Digital staff

"GT6 will feature 24 more premium cars, realistic damage which can be fully unlocked at level 99, 5 less bugs, realistic shadows and less online lag. We'll probably throw in airplanes like those in Red Bull airshows as well, but that's still in the works of getting approved," he added

When asked why, "We wanted to expand our fanbase. Everyone will get bored racing cars all the time," he answered. "As for the release date, we're probably thinking when the PS4 is in the market, so let's say around summer 2018"

A pretty bold statement from the staff member, considering Sony haven't even said anything about a PlayStation 4 yet. Still, it is a reason for Gran Turismo fans to be excited, even though this interview is obviously a figment of our imaginations

 

marilah kita semua berlari, lalalalalalala...

alrite, larian merentas desa kitorang dah habis. alhamdulillah, aku dapat nombor 45. tapi bukan tu yang aku nak citer. korang boleh bayangkan tak camner situasi nanti kalau pengetua/gpk korang bagi ucapan camni?

"Baiklah, saya nak kamu semua beratur ikut kelas, mula dengan form 4 di sebelah kiri saya. Beratur mesti ikut list nama. Kalau tidak nanti saya akan ambil tindakan. Saya nak kamu semua nanti berlari dalam keadaan teratur, jangan potong barisan. Kalau dia depan, biarlah dia di depan. Saya juga nak jarak antara satu sama lain semua sama saja. Kalau orang depan kamu ada jarak 5 inci, maka pastikan orang belakang kamu juga ada jarak 5 inci. Saya juga nak kamu semua lari dengan kelajuan yang sama. Saya tak nak ada orang terlalu jauh di depan atau di belakang, itu menunjukkan kita tidak berdisiplin.

Saya juga nak kamu semua tuck in baju kamu semua semasa berlari. Jangan bagi baju kamu terkeluar. Selepas larian, kita akan buat kawad bersepadu selama 1 jam di padang. Ini untuk memupuk disiplin, jadi kamu jangan bising. Selepas selesai semua ini, pergi masuk kelas, tukar baju, pakai baju unit uniform anda, kita belajar seperti biasa. Kita akan tamat sesi persekolahan pada pukul 3.30 petang"

mampus nak buat camtu :p

Assassin's Creed : Alliance

Several years have passed since Ezio's quest to defeat the Templars in Italy. Now his descendants need to do the same in Negeri Sembilan. Problem is, the Templars have set up base in a school. It is up to Asri Zainol, Ezio's Malaysian descendant, to take out the head of the local Templars in SMK King George V. But he needs help from his allies, for the leader is tough to take down. He must also carefully identify the leader, as one wrong move can ruin everything the Assassins have fought for. Getting past the leader's cronies won't be so easy, either

Game Features

New stealth outfits : Blend in with the crowd using local clothes

Explore the city of Seremban : You can roam around Seremban, including landmarks such as Seremban Parade, Terminal One and SMK King George V, all finely detailed and well designed to the last brick wall

New weapons : Use modern age weapons to carry out your assassinations

New ally system : An all-new interactive system allows you to make new allies to assist him in assassinations

Interact with the citizens : An all-new system will let you talk to citizens instead of just assassinating them

New co-op mode : Overwhelmed by the enemies? An all-new co-op system allows another player to jump in at any time

Custom content : You can now add custom content such as clothes, symbols and vehicles to enhance your gaming experience

Vehicles : You can now use vehicles to get to another location quickly

----------------------------

this would be awesome, if they could come up with this

(just to clarify that the Templars are not the teachers or the prefects. let's just say they took over the school during the holidays and never let any Georgians back in)