Friday, December 23, 2011

Bruno Saturn - It Will Hail

If you ever sue me, baby,
Leave some lawyers at my door
'Cause it would take a whole lot of subpoenas
To realize what banks we used to rob,
We don't rob them anymore

There's no injunction that could save me
No matter how long before Torres will score
So keep in mind all the human sacrifices I'm makin'
To keep you from suing me
To keep you from walkin' out the door (with my cash)

'Cause there'll be no sunshine
If I lose this case, baby
There'll be no clear skies
If I lose this case, baby
Just like the clouds
My lawyers will do the same, if you win the case
Everyday, it'll hail, hail, hail

I'll never be the judge's favorite
Your witnesses can't even look me in the eye
Ooh, if I was in their shoes, I won't be doing the same thing
Sayin' "There goes my client
Walkin' with that criminalish guy"

But they just hate me from day one
Ooh, is it because I'm not that Bieber creature?
Yeah for them I'll try I'll try I'll try
The Bieber creature can insult Islam and get away with it
And it makes me wonder why?

'Cause there'll be no sunshine
If I lose this case, baby
There'll be no clear skies
If I lose this case, baby
Just like the clouds
My lawyers will do the same, if you win the case
Everyday, it'll hail, hail, hail

Don't just say guilty,
Don't just say guilty
At least tell me what I did wrong
So I can blame the government

'Cause there'll be no sunshine
If I lose this case, baby
There'll be no clear skies
If I lose this case, baby
Just like the clouds
My lawyers will do the same, if you win the case
Everyday, it'll hail, hail, hail

Friday, December 16, 2011

STAR of Paroi - The Hallowed Turf

recently global virus epidemic that reduces the IQ points of female teenagers by several bajillion celebrity Justine Bieber went to Stamford Bridge for a kickaround. not only did it pollute the pitch, it also disrespected the players who are way older and more experienced than it
this got me thinking, what if it came to STAR of Paroi? better yet, what if some douchebags came to STAR of Paroi? what would I do to them? here's a list I came up with

Justine Bieber - launch into a two-footed tackle on it. the stamp its head while it's down, crying
George W Bush - slide tackle, hit my studs to his nuts
whichever Kardashian that had a short marriage - eat 'Roller Coaster' while wearing a Kris Humphreys jersey
Lewis Hamilton - karate-kick his back after getting myself launched by Felipe Massa
Mario Balotelli - distract him with fireworks and Maseratis before giving him a nerve pinch
the linesman that cost us a win against Newcastle - get a pair of glasses and focus the Sun's rays into his eyes
the 'untouchable' footballer - all punishments against Bieber, Bush and Hamilton combined

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Fenomena Nazmi

biasa la kan, bila satu team ni menang, mesti ada star dengan rising star kan? untuk skuad Harimau Malaya yang menang emas kat Indonesia hari tu, rising star berkenaan ialah Nazmi Faiz. mana taknya, umur baru 17 tapi dah bagus kawal midfield

lepas tu bila Kelayakan Olimpik, dia dapat skor gol paling cantik aku pernah tengok budak umur 17 tahun skor lawan Lebanon (sayang kita kalah 3-2). gol tu pun terpilih sebagai gol terbaik mingguan kat www.101greatgoals.com
tapi kita pun maklum la kan, orang Malaysia ni ramai kena penyakit HD. bukan hi-definition, tapi Hasad Dengki. tak caya? tengok screenshot bawah ni (kredit kepada pengamibl screenshot ni)

klik gambar kalau tak nampak

meh la aku counter point-point dia :

- kau rasa biasa je. ok, tu pandangan kau. tapi tolong bagitau, pemain mana lagi yang umur 17 tahun kat Malaysia ni boleh kata dia menang emas Sukan SEA?

- tunjuk belang kat senior? bukan ke dia yang antara paling rajin masa Sukan SEA dulu? pemain senior pun kagum dengan dia
-football is a team sport
-ni bukan asrama nak buli sana buli sini (ada buli lagi ke kat asrama?)
- memang la gol dia tak diiktiraf FIFA, jenuh la diorang nak tengok semua gol tiap-tiap minggu. perhatian, gol tu gol terbaik MINGGU tu. dah rezeki dia skor gol camtu
- apa dosa website tu kat kau sampai nak label 'bangang' tu?

- suka hati ATM la nak offer gaji RM100000 sebulan, tu hak diorang. tapi memang aku mengaku ni berlebih untuk pemain umur 17 tahun
-training Nazmi takkan seganas pemain-pemain senior, Sathia tahu macam mana nak jaga pemain

- ATM nak bagi gaji tu
- dah OKS pilih dia gi Indonesia, memang la SPM tak amik lagi
- dia tak amik pun gaji RM20000 tu
- tu namanya cita-cita, nak ikut jejak Safee Sali
- luar negara maksudnya kat rantau Asia la , tak pun kelab kecil kat Eropah. bukannya dia target sampai ke Barca tu

- orang panggil Nazmi 'Kaka' sebab muka dia la. research dulu bro!
- takde sapa panggil Park Ji-Sung 'Kaka' sebab cara main memang jauh beza. Ji is Ji, Kaka is Kaka, Nazmi is Nazmi
- kalau dia tak tahu main bola masakan OKS panggil dia masuk team U23

- perempuan tu no komen. diorang tengok muka je
- memang la takde sapa letak muka 'Tami Arasu' sebab dia tak wujud. Thamil Arasu ada la
- mana tau, mungkin ada perempuan bangsa India letak muka Thamil Arasu jadi profile pic dia? kat Malaysia ni bukan Melayu je layan bola tempatan

- lagi sekali, tu pandangan kau. pandangan aku, dia ada potensi
- kenapa kau nak samakan dia dengan Fakri? 2 different types of players, kau nak bandingkan
- Zaquan mana pernah ada skandal, dia nak kahwin artis pun semua dah tahu la. takde gosip sebelum tu. Aidil dengan Apek ada gosip pun prestasi top lagi
- mana kau tahu Nazmi ni akan hancur bila jumpa perempuan? ada pengalaman ke?

macam mana bola sepak Malaysia nak maju. bila ada pemain nak meningkat, mesti ada orang dengki. zaman Mokhtar Dahari pun dah ada orang camni. lepas tu tertanya-tanya kenapa rangking Malaysia tak naik. tak sedar yang diorang yang hancurkan mentaliti pemain ni sebenarnya

rafney87 - layan Bon Jovi lagi elok

Thursday, November 24, 2011

der hiatus

safe to say I'm on a little hiatus now due to SPM

I promise to update this more often after it's all over, coz we're all gonna fill up our cameras' memory cards with pics
who knows, this could be the last time we'll be seeing each other until the results day

for now, enjoy these wallpapers I made to celebrate our triumph in the SEA Games

Saturday, October 29, 2011

Misi Kelepot

bungkus je la jersi dengan misi ni, tak ke mana pun. koba je lebih 'Misi 33', siap ada jersey launch lagi, tapi kalah gak

So9 Exclusive : Api Kemarahan Tok Mat




Harga tiket final Piala Malaysia 2011 telah ditetapkan pada RM50, dan keputusan ini telah menimbulkan kemarahan para peminat Negeri Sembilan dan Terengganu. Presiden PBNS/MB Negeri Sembilan, DSU Mohamad Hassan juga marah terhadap tindakan tersebut. Kami di ‘State of Nine’ membayangkan lawatan Tok Mat ke Jawatankuasa Pertandingan Tempatan FAM berjalan seperti ini...

Mohamad : Oi Midin! Meh sini jap!

Hamidin : Apa hal lak ni...Azudin, tolong tengok siapa tu

Azudin : Alamak, tu Mohamad Hassan la!

Hamidin : Siapa?

Azudin : Presiden PBNS la bro

Hamidin : PB...NS? Apa tu?

Azudin : Kau ingat Liga Malaysia ni ada Selangor je ke? Aku pun hardcore gak tapi takde la sampai tak tahu team lain

Hamidin : Diam la kau. Suruh dia masuk

Mohamad : Midin! Aku nak tahu satu ni je. Kenapa bila kau naikkan harga tiket, kau libatkan PBNS dengan PBSNT? Kitorang takde kena-mengena pun pasal naik harga tiket tu

Hamidin : Apa lak takde kena-mengena? Korang dah ada hantar wakil hari tu kan?

Mohamad : Siapa lak nama diorang tu?

Hamidin : Err...Hazudin dengan Amidin. Takde pertalian darah antara kitorang

Mohamad : Mengarut benar la. Aku dah kira-kira, PBNS rugi sebab nak tanggung kos RM20 untuk setiap tiket. Ingat kitorang semua bodoh ke apa? Kitorang tahu la yang naik RM50 tu sebab nak tanggung pembiayaan 'Misi 33' korang tu untuk tahun depan

Hamidin : Kau jangan nak tuduh bukan-bukan. Kalau tak puas hati sangat, boikot je la final tu nanti. Ni kan negara demokrasi, korang buat je la apa yang korang nak

Mohamad : Camtu lak...ok, kau yang paksa aku ni. Mario!

Hamidin : Mario mana lak ni?

Mohamad : Balotelli. Aku nak dia ajar korang cukup-cukup!

Hamidin : Apa? Balotelli? Tolong jangan! Ok, ok, aku tak libatkan persatuan korang berdua lagi. Tapi jangan panggil dia tu!

Balotelli : Too late. I've already parked my Maserati in your bedroom. And your kitchen is on fire too, thanks  to those fireworks I set off. The fire may spread to your secret money room as well

Hamidin : (menangis)

Mohamad : That's enough Mario, I think he's learnt his lesson. Now stop torturing him

Balotelli : Then you might not wanna hear the part where I drove his cars into female prisons in Italy 

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

So9 Exclusive : Komplot Menaikkan Harga Tiket


Harga tiket final Piala Malaysia 2011 telah ditetapkan pada RM50, dan keputusan ini telah menimbulkan kemarahan para peminat Negeri Sembilan dan Terengganu. Kami di ‘State of Nine’ membayangkan mesyuarat Jawatankuasa FAM berjalan seperti ini...

Hamidin : Nampaknya ‘Misi 33’ Selangor dah gagal

Azudin : Teruk betul la. Kita dah ubah venue final dari Bukit Jalil ke Shah Alam pun boleh kalah lagi ke?

Hamidin : Ini tak boleh jadi. Macam mana kita nak balas dendam?

Azudin : Kita gantung Negeri Sembilan dengan Terengganu selama 6 bulan nak?

Hamidin : Tak boleh, obvious sangat tu. Aha! Apa kata kita naikkan harga tiket jadi RM50?

Azudin : Tak ke fans marah nanti?

Hamidin : Biarlah diorang marah. FAM is Selangor and Selangor is FAM

Azudin : Betul tu. Tapi apa kita nak bagitau media nanti?

Hamidin : Cakap je la untuk baiki stadium, jaga keselamatan peminat dan nak elakkan penjualan tiket haram. Media ni senang je nak kena pancing. Lagipun media nanti akan pengaruh peminat semua

Azudin : Tapi bukan ke nanti peminat komplot kat internet?

Hamidin : Kau ingat aku bodoh ke? Internet tu kan mitos je

Azudin : ...

Hamidin : Dah, sudah, sudah! Tiket final RM50. Harga sebenar RM20 je, yang lagi RM30 tu masuk kantung FAS untuk jayakan ‘Misi 33’ musim depan. Jangan bagi Annuar tahu sudah. Dia marah nanti kita jugak susah. Dah la gaji si Kezman ni mahal gila

Azudin : Kalau takde siapa beli tiket?

Hamidin : Gantung je la FA dua-dua negeri selama 5 tahun. Macam tak biasa buat je

Azudin : Wokey bos! Majulah Selangor untuk negara!