Sunday, December 25, 2011

The Golden Skateboards Award 2011


Hello all, we are back the 2011 edition of the Skaties! Last year's inaugural edition saw many first-time winners walking away with this prestigious award. For those who are new to this, this award honours (in some cases, dishonours) those who have accomplished great things in the past year. Each winner gets to take home a, yep, you guessed it, a golden skateboard.

Above is the prestigious Skatie that each winner gets to take home with them. This year, each Skatie is laced with adamantium so that it won't be melted down and sold to pawn shops, as some of our winners did last year. We've also planted GPS trackers in each trophy in case they go missing, and the winners can trace them

Each year, five candidates are chosen for each category, and the public must vote for who they think deserves the award the most. As previously mentioned, this award may or may not be a good thing for the winners

Right, let's move on to the categories, candidates and winners

Man of the Year
Candidates
Steve Jobs
Barack Obama
Najib Razak
Dalai Lama
Mario Balotelli

Winner
Mario Balotelli - who else can go from throwing darts at youth players one day, to helping a kid confront his bully at school the next? Can Obama do that? Or even Jobs? No, didn't think so either. Although Steve Jobs might have created an app for it

Controversy of the Year
Candidates
Tevez not playing
Englishgate
Trialgate
Osama's 'death'
Davis' Family Vacation

Winner
Englishgate - this incident brought the 5 Muzaffarians together and bound stronger as a result

Comeback of the Year
Candidates
Man United vs Man City (Community Shield)
Man United's unbeaten league run since THAT thrashing
Avril Lavigne with new hits
The NBA actually starting
Tony Stewart

Winner
The NBA actually starting - some of us have resigned to transferring to China to watch the CBL, and even contemplated going to Italy just to see Kobe Bryant play. But now the NBA is back! All hail capitalism!

Fanboys of the Year
Candidates
Call of Duty fanboys
Assassin's Creed fanboys
Skyrim fanboys
Battlefield fanboys
Mario Kart fanboys

Winner
Battlefield fanboys - an obvious choice. For who else can say their game is a bajillion times better than Call of Duty - despite neither game being out when the debate began? We totally see the logic there, BF fanboys

Footballer of the Year
Candidates
Cristiano Ronaldo
Wayne Rooney
That guy who plays somewhere in Samoa
Luis Suarez
Me

Winner
Luis Suarez - a wholesome figure, he is a good role model for children everywhere. You will never see him bite someone in the shoulder, using his hands to stop a goal and using a racist word towards other playe...what's that? 8-game ban? For racism? Oi, get back here you numpty!

Villain of the Year
Candidates
Every other US soldier
Justine Bieber
Anwar Ibrahim
Vladimir Makarov
Grayson Chan

Winner
Justine Bieber - who else can polarise the world and basically separate all humanity into 2 groups? This person is clearly more dangerous than Magneto, Dr Doom, Makarov, Joker, Lex Luthor and Anwar combined!

Blogger of the Year
Candidates
Firdaus
Azzally
Sarah
Hisan
Izham

Winner
Sarah - she's the only one who's been updating her blog, so this was an easy decision. Get on that keyboard, you slackers!

Tweeter of the Year
Candidates
Rio Ferdinand
Michael Owen
Firdaus
Hisan
Tim Le Cat

Winner
Tim Le Cat - Tim's a tweeting cat. Clearly the winner here

RayBan Model of the Year
Candidates
Firdaus
Saiful
Izham
Fitri
Kishon

Winner
Firdaus - totally pulling off the male-model look. Now can you please get that hidden blade out of my face?

And that concludes this year's Golden Skateboards Award. If you have any suggestions for any future awards, or think that your favourite should have won, feel free to leave a comment on this post or in the shoutbox. It won't change the results, but at least you will feel better

Don't forget to pick up a can of Pringles on your way out, prepared exclusively by our sponsors for this year. Just ask for your favourite flavour!

Until we meet again

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LATE ENTRY!!!

Due to popular demand, a new category has been added yesterday. Voting ended at 2200 Malaysian time last night, and these are the results

A-Hole of the Year
Candidates
That British guy
Kyle Busch
Kurt Busch
Lewis Hamilton
That other British guy

Winner
That British guy - for successfully setting me back a few more years with his recent antics. I took most of my life at high school to do it, but he's managed to undo it all in less than a year. He could win the 'Douchebag of the Year' award as well if we had held it this year

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