Skaties

memandangkan ada cadangan daripada Firdaus untuk buat lagi anugerah ni, aku nak mintak cadangan korang untuk kategori lain yang boleh guna untuk tahun depan punya. tak kisah la mengarut ke tak, janji ada idea. 'Gamer of the Year' ke, 'Guitar Hero of the Year' ke, tak kisah la

btw, aku dah ada idea untuk anugerah bulanan, nak cari psd file je. stay tuned!

The Golden Skateboards Award

 

The Golden Skateboards Award was launched in 2010, from the brainchild of a mightily bored 16 year old teenager who had nothing to do during his holidays. This award honours (in some cases, dishonours) those who have accomplished great things in the past year. Each winner gets to take home a, yep, you guessed it, a golden skateboard, as shown below

The skateboard is also known as 'Skatie' among the winners. Each year, five candidates are chosen for each category, and the public must vote for who they think deserves the award the most. As previously mentioned, this award may or may not be a good thing for the winners

Right, let's move on to the categories, candidates and winners

Football Referee of the Year

Candidates 

Howard Webb

Martin Atkinson

Subkhiddin Salleh

Ben Williams

That guy in orange

Winner

Ben Williams - by a huge landslide. Though he was probably voted by sarcastic Malaysian fans, since about 99.99% of his votes came from Malaysia

Couple of the Year

Candidates

Aniq & Farahin

Hisan & Shira

Nadzirah & Amalina

Amir & FIFA 10 PC

Kana & Nikhil

Winner

Kana & Nikhil - by, well, everyone. A perfect couple, mischiefs coming from those two, who could possibly deserve this award more than them?

Team of the Year

Candidates

Manchester United

Pittsburgh Steelers

Yokohama F. Marinos

Niners FC

Felda United

Winner

Niners FC - who, despite being underprepared, short-handed and lacking in match fitness, this team still managed to play well in the two matches they competed in, though the less said about the amount of goals they conceded, the better

Class of the Year

Candidates

4 ABK

4 MUZ

4 ALAU

4 HISH

Archie Andrews' class

Winner

4 ABK - overall, they have achieved a lot of records for the school : Most Active in Co-Curricular Activities, Most Students in Top 10 of Whole Form, 'The Teachers Are Pissed Off Because of Our Jackasses' Award, Loudest Class Award. An obvious winner

Player of the Year

Candidates

Hafizh

Cakip

Paan

Boboy

Imal

Winner

Cakip - as no one can touch him on the pitch. If you do, expect his boot in your face, head, ribs, legs or groin

Blog of the Year (personal)

Candidates

Firdaus

Azally

Hisan

Afiz

Sarah

Winner

Azally - frequently updated, a lot of photos, just what you expect of a blog

Blog of the Year (sports)

Candidates

From The Marbles

Malaysia Sports' Loose Cannon

Dirty Tackle

Big League Stew

FourFourTwo blog

Winner

Dirty Tackle - the best sports blog voted by the public, citing features as 'The Continental', 'Random musings of footballers before they fall asleep...' and 'Artur Boruc's Friday Rage List' as the main attraction. Now where's that mayonnaise I had in the fridge...

Noob of the Year

Candidates

Imran

Izham

Alip

Dik M

Syukri

Winner

Izham - an obvious choice by the voters, with 99% of the votes going for him. Rumours are abound that Izham secretly voted for himself for this award

And that concludes this year's Golden Skateboards Award. If you have any suggestions for any future awards, or think that your favourite should have won, feel free to leave a comment on this post or in the shoutbox

Until we meet again

this post does not intend to disgrace anyone in any way (okay, maybe we wanted to disgrace some of them). if you happen to be offended by this post, we suggest that you get a life. it's a gag post, people. if you lack a sense of humour, that's your problem, not ours

Ref Kayu

Malaysia vs China

Ben Williams, 12th man China

dari kick-off lagi kita dah nampak ref ni bias. main baru seminit. ada ke patut Mahalli Jasuli kena kad kuning? orang foul awal camtu kena warning je cukup la

minit ke-25, Mahalli kena kad kuning keduanya. perasan tak masa dia sepak bola tu keluar, masa dia 'tak puas hati', belakang dia dah ada bola bergolek, yang ballpicker nak bagi pemain China tu? aku rasa Mahalli nak bagi balik kat ballpicker bola tu

tup tup, kena kad merah. pemain Malaysia pun, apa lagi, protes la. first half kena kad merah, pasal benda kecik camni. Safiq Rahim, sebagai kapten, pergi la protes kat referee tu. tak pasal-pasal kena kad merah! baru cakap je, belum foul lagi

maknanya Malaysia dari awal kena main 9 orang, nak lawan 12 pemain China. letih la camni. tapi memang aku applaud la semangat juang harimau kita, 9 orang pun tak bolos first half

tapi, kalau dah main 9 orang tu, lama-lama bolos la gak. 2 gol berturut-turut menghancurkan harapan Malaysia nak at least seri. dah la striker takde. bila dah minit ke-70+, S.Kunanlan jatuhkan sorang player China dalam kotak. aku dah jerit, "aahhh, bagi je la penalti lepas ni". tengok betul lak tekaan aku. dah la penalti, Kuna kena kad kuning kedua, terus merah, off! aku memang tahan marah je time tu. kalau tak, memang banyak benda hancur kat rumah aku semalam

penalti tu masuk, 3-0. memang dah takleh kejar la lepas ni. tapi, walaupun kalah, Malaysia tetap layak ke pusingan kedua sebagai antara pasukan tempat ketiga yang terbaik. masalahnya sekarang, Malaysia tinggal 15 orang pemain je. yup, 15. 11 + 4 sub. kalau menang ni memang miracle la. bukan apa, skuad Malaysia ni dah kecik sangat, backup pun dah takde

tapi aku yakin, kalau ikut prestasi dengan semangat semalam. memang boleh menang lawan Iran nanti

Malaysia kalah bukan sebab prestasi hampeh ke, China terer ke, tapi sebab Ben Williams ni bodoh

oh ya, aku ada cakap tak takde sorang pun pemain China kena kad, sedangkan Malaysia aku rasa Khairul Fahmi sorang je tak kena kad kuning?

 

Random mumblings of a footballer before he plays FIFA

Time for the disgraces. First, my defensive partner has scored more goals in the past week than I have. That's an embarrassing f***ing disgrace. Then, the mosquitoes have been targeting me at school. That's an itchy f***ing disgrace. Later, I discovered that my friends went off somewhere without telling me. That's a backstabbing f***ing disgrace. On the pitch, this idiot started getting mad at me because I made contact with his leg when I blocked his shot. That's a wimpy f***ing disgrace. Then, I realized I was wearing blue. That's a colourblind f***ing disgrace. I then had to cut my hair short because the school won't let me keep it long. That's a disciplinary f***ing disgrace. Then, there was this referee who probably thought his whistle was a vuvuzela and cost us a win in a cup final. That's...that's a...

Daud Archulater

'why do I keep running from the truth...'

because...

the truth hurts...

sometimes...

it's not what you want to hear...

the truth...

makes you feel worse than you already are...

sometimes...

it's better to live in lies...

because...

it makes you feel better...

it makes you feel confident...

so...

honesty is not always the best policy...

kebodohan FAM (Football Association Mangkuk)

aku list je la senang, takyah citer panjang-panjang

1. selamatkan Pahang dari kena turun masuk Liga Premier berkali-kali

2. sekejap bagi import main, sekejap tak bagi. konsisten la sikit woi!

3. selalu benar tukar format liga. aku dah konfius dah ni

4. dah elok main selasa dengan sabtu, nak main isnin dengan jumaat lak. kata nak bagi ramai orang datang tengok. kot pilih hari-hari ni makin sikit datang agaknya

5. tukar format Piala Sumbangsih, semata-mata nak tolong Selangor (original format : juara Piala FA vs juara Piala Malaysia, juara Piala Malaysia main kat home)

6. overcharge tiket final, alasan nak lagi prestij. cam sama je aku tengok...

7. orang FAM fikirkan jawatan masing-masing je

8. duit yang dikutip selama ni masuk poket orang FAM

9. x reti nak galakkan team cari sponsor sendiri, yang dah ada sponsor tu suruh lak share ruang kat jersi dengan TM yang sponsor setahun bukannya banyak sangat pun

10. tak reti nak manage bolasepak Malaysia

main taman je ke? cara ko cakap tu, aku bajet ko main taraf world cup

situasi 1 :

korang adalah defender. bila bola dekat dengan korang, mesti korang nak clear kan? dan kalau bola tu 50-50, nasib la kalau kaki berlaga kan? nampaknya aku silap. ada sekali tu aku nak clear bola, paras dada. aku nak clear ke tepi. pastu ada abang ni (bajet rambut idris karim power la sangat), datang nak shoot bola. aku nampak dia last minit, aku tarik balik kaki aku, dia dapat shoot, tapi melayang ke mana ntah. pastu boleh suruh aku jaga kaki aku. ko datang dari belakang mana aku nak nampak ko, mangkuk. itu pun nasib baik aku tarik kaki aku, kalau tak dah ada kesan stud dah kat keting ko

situasi 2 :

korang adalah wing-back. tugas korang ialah jaga kat bahagian wing tu. korang kalau dapat attack mesti nak kejar bola kan? aku buat tu la. pastu bola 50-50 lagi, aku masuk nak control bola, tunjuk la kaki aku. tapi aku nampak mamat ni cam nak berlaga dengan aku, aku tarik kaki aku, ingat nak tolak bola bagi lepas dia. pastu dia boleh tajak aku kat peha? aku pun keluar la bunyi 'uk', sebab sakit (ye la, kitorang main guna but). abang kat situasi 1 tu cakap 'jangan la berlakon'. berlakon pala hotak ko. nak kena tajak kat peha sekali aku boleh je bagi. pastu bola kat tanah, aku dapat bola, lepas 2 orang defender, shoot, kena tiang, keluar. aku nak masuk balik posisi aku, terdengar lak mamat tu kata aku main jahat. ye ke? tak pernah aku dengar orang yang kena tajak tu yang main jahat. aku rasa kalau main pro ni, dia dah kena kad kuning dah

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kesimpulannya, diorang ni pemain taman. diorang bukannya pemain taraf world cup, yang takleh disentuh langsung. kalau tak nak kena sentuh, gi la main badminton ke, tenis ke, golf ke. senang sikit hidup aku