Saturday, December 31, 2011

Tuesday, December 27, 2011

Bruno Saturn is now Bruno Mustafar

due to possible confusion between our Bruno and an actual 'Bruno Saturn', we are glad to announce that our Bruno has legally changed his name to 'Bruno Mustafar', after that volcanic planet on Star Wars that saw Obi-Wan and Anakin battle it out

in other news, this is a REALLY slow news day. kthxbai

Monday, December 26, 2011

The Golden Skateboards Award 2011 - Behind the Scenes

Ever wondered what goes on behind the scenes of this prestigious award? Today, you'll be able to discover the passion, the spirit, the professionalism and the togetherness of the awards team that enabled them to make Skaties 2011 a bigger success than last year

May this continue for the future. But right now, here are the behind-the-scenes pictures, captured by our own cameramen, who by the way don't earn a cent slaving for us
it was all hard work from day one

 a lot of research and tallying up were done

it did take it's toll on us
some affected worse than others

we even worked late into the night

up to the point where we were just mucking about
and totally forgetting the awards altogether

 but in the end we pulled together

it was tiring, for sure

heck, we never even left the building for a few days

but in the end, we all celebrated success

so we can make sure that this award is a huge success

A big thanks to all members of the team who made this all possible. And remember all the takeouts? You guys owe me for that

Sunday, December 25, 2011

The Golden Skateboards Award 2011

Hello all, we are back the 2011 edition of the Skaties! Last year's inaugural edition saw many first-time winners walking away with this prestigious award. For those who are new to this, this award honours (in some cases, dishonours) those who have accomplished great things in the past year. Each winner gets to take home a, yep, you guessed it, a golden skateboard.

Above is the prestigious Skatie that each winner gets to take home with them. This year, each Skatie is laced with adamantium so that it won't be melted down and sold to pawn shops, as some of our winners did last year. We've also planted GPS trackers in each trophy in case they go missing, and the winners can trace them

Each year, five candidates are chosen for each category, and the public must vote for who they think deserves the award the most. As previously mentioned, this award may or may not be a good thing for the winners

Right, let's move on to the categories, candidates and winners

Man of the Year
Steve Jobs
Barack Obama
Najib Razak
Dalai Lama
Mario Balotelli

Mario Balotelli - who else can go from throwing darts at youth players one day, to helping a kid confront his bully at school the next? Can Obama do that? Or even Jobs? No, didn't think so either. Although Steve Jobs might have created an app for it

Controversy of the Year
Tevez not playing
Osama's 'death'
Davis' Family Vacation

Englishgate - this incident brought the 5 Muzaffarians together and bound stronger as a result

Comeback of the Year
Man United vs Man City (Community Shield)
Man United's unbeaten league run since THAT thrashing
Avril Lavigne with new hits
The NBA actually starting
Tony Stewart

The NBA actually starting - some of us have resigned to transferring to China to watch the CBL, and even contemplated going to Italy just to see Kobe Bryant play. But now the NBA is back! All hail capitalism!

Fanboys of the Year
Call of Duty fanboys
Assassin's Creed fanboys
Skyrim fanboys
Battlefield fanboys
Mario Kart fanboys

Battlefield fanboys - an obvious choice. For who else can say their game is a bajillion times better than Call of Duty - despite neither game being out when the debate began? We totally see the logic there, BF fanboys

Footballer of the Year
Cristiano Ronaldo
Wayne Rooney
That guy who plays somewhere in Samoa
Luis Suarez

Luis Suarez - a wholesome figure, he is a good role model for children everywhere. You will never see him bite someone in the shoulder, using his hands to stop a goal and using a racist word towards other playe...what's that? 8-game ban? For racism? Oi, get back here you numpty!

Villain of the Year
Every other US soldier
Justine Bieber
Anwar Ibrahim
Vladimir Makarov
Grayson Chan

Justine Bieber - who else can polarise the world and basically separate all humanity into 2 groups? This person is clearly more dangerous than Magneto, Dr Doom, Makarov, Joker, Lex Luthor and Anwar combined!

Blogger of the Year

Sarah - she's the only one who's been updating her blog, so this was an easy decision. Get on that keyboard, you slackers!

Tweeter of the Year
Rio Ferdinand
Michael Owen
Tim Le Cat

Tim Le Cat - Tim's a tweeting cat. Clearly the winner here

RayBan Model of the Year

Firdaus - totally pulling off the male-model look. Now can you please get that hidden blade out of my face?

And that concludes this year's Golden Skateboards Award. If you have any suggestions for any future awards, or think that your favourite should have won, feel free to leave a comment on this post or in the shoutbox. It won't change the results, but at least you will feel better

Don't forget to pick up a can of Pringles on your way out, prepared exclusively by our sponsors for this year. Just ask for your favourite flavour!

Until we meet again


Due to popular demand, a new category has been added yesterday. Voting ended at 2200 Malaysian time last night, and these are the results

A-Hole of the Year
That British guy
Kyle Busch
Kurt Busch
Lewis Hamilton
That other British guy

That British guy - for successfully setting me back a few more years with his recent antics. I took most of my life at high school to do it, but he's managed to undo it all in less than a year. He could win the 'Douchebag of the Year' award as well if we had held it this year

Friday, December 23, 2011


Bruno Saturn - It Will Hail

If you ever sue me, baby,
Leave some lawyers at my door
'Cause it would take a whole lot of subpoenas
To realize what banks we used to rob,
We don't rob them anymore

There's no injunction that could save me
No matter how long before Torres will score
So keep in mind all the human sacrifices I'm makin'
To keep you from suing me
To keep you from walkin' out the door (with my cash)

'Cause there'll be no sunshine
If I lose this case, baby
There'll be no clear skies
If I lose this case, baby
Just like the clouds
My lawyers will do the same, if you win the case
Everyday, it'll hail, hail, hail

I'll never be the judge's favorite
Your witnesses can't even look me in the eye
Ooh, if I was in their shoes, I won't be doing the same thing
Sayin' "There goes my client
Walkin' with that criminalish guy"

But they just hate me from day one
Ooh, is it because I'm not that Bieber creature?
Yeah for them I'll try I'll try I'll try
The Bieber creature can insult Islam and get away with it
And it makes me wonder why?

'Cause there'll be no sunshine
If I lose this case, baby
There'll be no clear skies
If I lose this case, baby
Just like the clouds
My lawyers will do the same, if you win the case
Everyday, it'll hail, hail, hail

Don't just say guilty,
Don't just say guilty
At least tell me what I did wrong
So I can blame the government

'Cause there'll be no sunshine
If I lose this case, baby
There'll be no clear skies
If I lose this case, baby
Just like the clouds
My lawyers will do the same, if you win the case
Everyday, it'll hail, hail, hail

Friday, December 16, 2011

STAR of Paroi - The Hallowed Turf

recently global virus epidemic that reduces the IQ points of female teenagers by several bajillion celebrity Justine Bieber went to Stamford Bridge for a kickaround. not only did it pollute the pitch, it also disrespected the players who are way older and more experienced than it
this got me thinking, what if it came to STAR of Paroi? better yet, what if some douchebags came to STAR of Paroi? what would I do to them? here's a list I came up with

Justine Bieber - launch into a two-footed tackle on it. the stamp its head while it's down, crying
George W Bush - slide tackle, hit my studs to his nuts
whichever Kardashian that had a short marriage - eat 'Roller Coaster' while wearing a Kris Humphreys jersey
Lewis Hamilton - karate-kick his back after getting myself launched by Felipe Massa
Mario Balotelli - distract him with fireworks and Maseratis before giving him a nerve pinch
the linesman that cost us a win against Newcastle - get a pair of glasses and focus the Sun's rays into his eyes
the 'untouchable' footballer - all punishments against Bieber, Bush and Hamilton combined

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Fenomena Nazmi

biasa la kan, bila satu team ni menang, mesti ada star dengan rising star kan? untuk skuad Harimau Malaya yang menang emas kat Indonesia hari tu, rising star berkenaan ialah Nazmi Faiz. mana taknya, umur baru 17 tapi dah bagus kawal midfield

lepas tu bila Kelayakan Olimpik, dia dapat skor gol paling cantik aku pernah tengok budak umur 17 tahun skor lawan Lebanon (sayang kita kalah 3-2). gol tu pun terpilih sebagai gol terbaik mingguan kat
tapi kita pun maklum la kan, orang Malaysia ni ramai kena penyakit HD. bukan hi-definition, tapi Hasad Dengki. tak caya? tengok screenshot bawah ni (kredit kepada pengamibl screenshot ni)

klik gambar kalau tak nampak

meh la aku counter point-point dia :

- kau rasa biasa je. ok, tu pandangan kau. tapi tolong bagitau, pemain mana lagi yang umur 17 tahun kat Malaysia ni boleh kata dia menang emas Sukan SEA?

- tunjuk belang kat senior? bukan ke dia yang antara paling rajin masa Sukan SEA dulu? pemain senior pun kagum dengan dia
-football is a team sport
-ni bukan asrama nak buli sana buli sini (ada buli lagi ke kat asrama?)
- memang la gol dia tak diiktiraf FIFA, jenuh la diorang nak tengok semua gol tiap-tiap minggu. perhatian, gol tu gol terbaik MINGGU tu. dah rezeki dia skor gol camtu
- apa dosa website tu kat kau sampai nak label 'bangang' tu?

- suka hati ATM la nak offer gaji RM100000 sebulan, tu hak diorang. tapi memang aku mengaku ni berlebih untuk pemain umur 17 tahun
-training Nazmi takkan seganas pemain-pemain senior, Sathia tahu macam mana nak jaga pemain

- ATM nak bagi gaji tu
- dah OKS pilih dia gi Indonesia, memang la SPM tak amik lagi
- dia tak amik pun gaji RM20000 tu
- tu namanya cita-cita, nak ikut jejak Safee Sali
- luar negara maksudnya kat rantau Asia la , tak pun kelab kecil kat Eropah. bukannya dia target sampai ke Barca tu

- orang panggil Nazmi 'Kaka' sebab muka dia la. research dulu bro!
- takde sapa panggil Park Ji-Sung 'Kaka' sebab cara main memang jauh beza. Ji is Ji, Kaka is Kaka, Nazmi is Nazmi
- kalau dia tak tahu main bola masakan OKS panggil dia masuk team U23

- perempuan tu no komen. diorang tengok muka je
- memang la takde sapa letak muka 'Tami Arasu' sebab dia tak wujud. Thamil Arasu ada la
- mana tau, mungkin ada perempuan bangsa India letak muka Thamil Arasu jadi profile pic dia? kat Malaysia ni bukan Melayu je layan bola tempatan

- lagi sekali, tu pandangan kau. pandangan aku, dia ada potensi
- kenapa kau nak samakan dia dengan Fakri? 2 different types of players, kau nak bandingkan
- Zaquan mana pernah ada skandal, dia nak kahwin artis pun semua dah tahu la. takde gosip sebelum tu. Aidil dengan Apek ada gosip pun prestasi top lagi
- mana kau tahu Nazmi ni akan hancur bila jumpa perempuan? ada pengalaman ke?

macam mana bola sepak Malaysia nak maju. bila ada pemain nak meningkat, mesti ada orang dengki. zaman Mokhtar Dahari pun dah ada orang camni. lepas tu tertanya-tanya kenapa rangking Malaysia tak naik. tak sedar yang diorang yang hancurkan mentaliti pemain ni sebenarnya

rafney87 - layan Bon Jovi lagi elok