J.A.N.G - Mangkuk Botingkek

Jang!!
Mangkukmu botingkek tingkek 5x
Den nak layan pun dah ponek

Koba nak gi rayo
Torpakso tunggu lamo
Tunggu oghang tompi takdo
Ekau pulak nak mongado
Den balik bilik ekau takdo
Takdo koba poie mano
Elok ekau balik Kolumpo
Dah la tak ghoti tutup lampu

Mangkukmu botingkek tingkek (7x)
Den nak layan pun dah ponek

Koba nak gi rayo
Torpakso tunggu lamo
Tunggu oghang tompi takdo
Ekau pulak nak mongado
Den balik bilik ekau takdo
Takdo koba poie mano
Elok ekau balik Kolumpo
Dah la tak ghoti tutup lampu

Mangkukmu botingkek tingkek
Den nak layan memang ponek
Baik den duk kek Bongek
Lopeh tu drive ko Gomeh
Jangan kito nyusahkan oghang
Tak kiro samo milah ko jang
Nanti kito gak yang susah
Apo kito nak jawab kaghang?

Ekau jangan solalu suko-suko
Tak lamo nanti borduko
Mari kito poie rayo
Boleh jumpo kawan baghu
Jangan malu nak tanyo namo
Nanti boleh lepak samo-samo
Ado satu den nak mintak tolong
Dah bosa nanti kito semuo jangan dilupo

Sosal komudian takdo guno
Den ghaso mombazir maso
Tolong boli tiket tuk ekau
Tompi ekau lari maso rayo
Ekau buek den paneh
Darah den dah mondidih
Den nak koba satu bondo
Ekau memang mangkuk tingkek

Mangkukmu botingkek tingkek 7x
Den nak layan pun dah ponek

Okay esey on
ekau pun on
Tengok sapo laie champion
Meh kito poie pantai
Sapo monang monyolam (you're on!)

Ekau hari hari poie gym
Lopeh tu nak tunjuk body
Ekau jangan jobo bona
Kalau ekau tak nak bolaja

Nismilan susah nak monang
Takpo Pialo Malaysia kito pogang
Biar musuh kito bongang
Bilo tengok pialo Tok Mat julang

You're in The State of Nine, that blog of mine
Makin parodies ain't a crime
Den suko mo JB
Tompi bukan si ponyanyi
Meh sini den kobakan
Jenson Button la, sapo laie
Milah jangan la monangih
Bilo den koba dio tak ghoti nyanyi
Somban waghih representin
& everyone knows who runs it
This aint about me this about the city
Jangan kito lupo asal usul
Bilo dah borjayo jangan jobo
Nanti oghang tinggalkan ekau
Kawan pun dah lari samo
Up down kito samo
Jangan ditolak topi, kito rugi
Tak payah duk koja milah
Last last kojo kutip sampah
Hujung minggu lepak Pilah
Samo-samo layan shisha
Lepak dongan kawan, best what!

Tak salah koja ghoto
Boli apo ekau suko
Tompi kalau duit ekau takdo
Takyah boli kot tak mampu

Budak sokaghang sumo nak sonang
Tak nak koluar wang
Bilo dio dah boghutang
Dio pulak salahkan oghang

Mangkukmu botingkek tingkek 7x
Den nak layan pun dah ponek

Haha
Jang
Ekau yang terpilih

Plain White Robes - Rhythm of Kill

the Plain White Robes - Luigi (bass), Alessandro (drums), Ezio (lead singer, guitar), Gianluigi (guitar), Giuseppe (bass)

I am stuck in the house
He begs me not to kill him
Says, "Boy, I got a wife and 3 kids"
I told him, "Shut up you stupid Templar
We are gonna win the war
We'll fight till your blood spills
As the world turns to the rhythm of kill"

We may only have one shot
But till the guards come, you're dead
All dead
Aim the crossbow low
And sway to the rhythm of kill

My sword swings like an axe
Juiced up way to the max
A beautiful death rattle from you
You remind me of that dead Jew
That blocked my way to the park
He fell down like Busquests
The moment my sword met his face

We may only have one shot
But till the guards come, you're dead
All dead
Aim the crossbow low
And sway to the rhythm of kill

When the moon is low
I chase you in slow motion
And all your pain will subside
All your blood will dry

And long after I've gone
Desmond will keep me going on
And I live on in his mind
And drive him off the wall sometimes

We may only have one shot
But till the guards come, you're dead
All dead
Aim the crossbow low
And sway to the rhythm of kill
Aim the crossbow low
And sway to the rhythm of kill
Yeah, sway to the rhythm of kill  

(Requescat in Pace) 

Amukan Pengawas di Sekolah

SEREMBAN, 15 Julai - Gara-gara tidak puas hati kerana tidak menjadi pengawas lagi, beberapa orang pengawas di sekolah terkenal di bandar ini telah membakar beberapa bahagian sekolah tersebut.


Kejadian tersebut dipercayai berlaku pada jam 10.30 malam, tatkala pak guard sedang nyeyak tidur di pos kawalannya. Dipercayai bahawa beberapa orang bekas pengawas ini menyalakan api yang besar ketika kem pemimpin pelajar sekolah ini sedang berlangsung untuk menunjukkan ketidakpuasan hati mereka apabila terpaksa meletakkan jawatan pada minggu hadapan.


Salah seorang daripada mereka, yang hanya mahu dikenali sebagai Wan, berkata "Sebelum ini adalah menjadi cita-cita saya untuk menjadi ketua pemimpin pelajar, dan alhamdulillah saya diberikan amanah tersebut pada tahun lalu. Namun belum genap setahun pun, saya dipaksa meletakkan jawatan saya. Mana adil!", sebelum menyatakan sesuatu mengenai polisi perpindahan pemain Arsene Wenger.


Beberapa orang bekas pengawas kemudiannya melakukan rusuhan di kolam renang. Mereka kemudiannya mengisi kolam itu dengan air, atas alasan untuk menyukarkan mereka yang tidak pandai berenang sekembalinya mereka ke sekolah.


Satu blok sekolah tersebut telah hangus dijilat api sehingga terpaksa dicat semula. Salah seorang guru berkata "Kami terpaksa membelanjakan wang yang banyak untuk mengecat semula blok ini. Salah kami juga kerana kami tidak sedar tempoh mereka menjadi pengawas ialah selama 363 hari sahaja. Namun, mengapakah mereka harus menjadikan rumput di hadapan kiosk itu sebagai mangsa juga? Dahulu di situ penuh rumput, sekarang tinggal batu kerikil sahaja", sebelum diberitahu bahawa rumput itu sebenarnya telah dimakan seekor lembu yang memakai cermin mata dan menggelarkan dirinya sebagai 'Legend F5'.


gambar kredit kepada Nur Amalina, diambil tanpa kebenaran. get well soon!

ps : ini adalah parody semata-mata. komen yang digunakan mungkin digunakan atau tidak oleh individu-individu tersebut dalam kehidupan seharian. hanya untuk mereka yang ada 'sense of humour'. tidak sesuai bagi mereka yang berumur 3 tahun ke bawah atau yang terlalu serius. tiada haiwan telah dicederakan dalam segmen ini. sila jangan ambil hati

segmen 'Mari Kita Komen' kembali di blog ini setelah 5 bulan menghilang. ketua editor kami di "The State of Nine" telah ditahan atas rambutnya yang 'panjang' pada awal minggu ini. apakah wajar seorang yang hampir botak ditugaskan untuk memantau rambut pelajar, sehingga tidak dapat membezakan antara rambut panjang dengan lebat?

"apa salahnya botak, jadi la macam saya ni. jom turun padang petang ni, bawak glove kamu"

-softball coach-

jom, coach. tapi masih tak jawab soalan kami lagi. biarkan je la, dah gian nak main sofbol

"saya rasa kamu ni sama ada tak suka memimpin atau lagi rela dipimpin. kenapa bukan ketua editor kamu sahaja yang tanya soalan ni?"

-disciplinarian-

sebab dah tugas kami wartawan...

"nanti saya buat sajak dulu pasal benda ni. tapi saya kena pergi Sarawak dulu"

-NAS-

sajak pun sajak la. tapi mikrofon kami dah rosak. nak kirim keychain sehelai boleh tak?

"cuba try buat rambut cam Ezio. mesti dia goyang punya"

-Jay-

bos kami dapat 'surat diraja', tu semua salah kau

"ada empat saksi yang adil tak? video je? maaf, itu besi, tak boleh dijadikan bukti"

-tok guru-

video tu .mpeg, bukan besi

"ini adalah PENGHINAAN terhadap golongan yang botak di sekolah ini. apakah anda tidak bersyukur sehingga menggunakan golongan ini dalam temuramah ini?"

-ex-Georgian 2010-

silap la minta pandangan dia lagi...

"time for the disgraces. first, Tim Howard gave his disgraces instead of me. that's a spotlight-stealing f***ing disgrace. then, my obese cat Kitier Katba went missing and turned up in Italy. that's a travel-miles enriching f***ing disgrace. then, Kalou deleted my FIFA 11 profile on my PS3. that's a time-wasting f***ing disgrace. later, Kalou offered a copy of Pro Evolution Soccer 2011 to make up for it. that's an inferior f***ing disgrace. Then, there were these two bald referee's who probably slap kittens and laugh about it cheated us out of the Champions League. that, that was a..."

-Didier D-

menyesal lak minta dia bagi pandangan

"the liberation of Roma has begun"

-Ezio A-

ni Seremban la...

nampaknya segmen "Mari Kita Komen" tamat di sini sahaja. sehingga bertemu pada masa yang akan datang, di mana kami akan menemuramah orang ramai mengenai pandangan mereka terhadap sesuatu isu

Bruno Saturn - Cut My Hair

Bruno Saturn returns for another hit, exclusive only at The State of Nine!

Bruno Saturn

It’s a beautiful day,
We’re looking for something dumb to do.
Hey kiddo,
I think I want you to cut my hair

Is it the look in their eyes,
Or is it this apple juice?
Who cares kiddo,
I think I want you to cut my hair

Well I know this barber shop on the street we can go,
Everyone will know,
Come on dude
Who cares if it's bad got a pocket full of hair cream we can use,
Shaver's on 2,
And it’s on dude

Don’t say no, no, no, no-no;
Just say yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah-yeah;
And we’ll cut, cut, cut-cut
If you’re ready, like I’m ready

Cause it’s a beautiful day,
We’re looking for something dumb to do.
Hey kiddo,
I think I want you to cut my hair

Is it the look in their eyes,
Or is it this apple juice?
Who cares kiddo,
I think I want you to cut my hair

I’ll go get a chair let you chop off some of my hair,

So whatcha wanna do?
Let’s just cut dude.
If I wake up and I'm bald that's not cool.
Yeah, I will blame you;
It ain't cool, dude

Don’t say no, no, no, no-no;
Just say yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah-yeah;
And we’ll cut, cut, cut-cut
If you’re ready, like I’m ready

 
Cause it’s a beautiful day,
We’re looking for something dumb to do.
Hey kiddo,
I think I want you to cut my hair

Is it the look in their eyes,
Or is it this apple juice?
Who cares kiddo,
I think I want you to cut my hair

Just say I will,
Tell me right now dude
Tell me right now dude x2

Cause it’s a beautiful day,
We’re looking for something dumb to do.
Hey kiddo,
I think I want you to cut my hair

Is it the look in their eyes,
Or is it this apple juice?
Who cares kiddo,
I think I want you to cut my hair

The Lazy Post

LAZY

Daudsu™

KOTA BHARU, 15 Jun - Kumpulan penyokong Kelantan FA secara rasminya telah menghakciptakan nama Daudsu Jamaluddin, sekaligus menghalang mana-mana pihak untuk menggunakan namanya. Pihak ramai terpaksa menggunakan 'Daudsu™' dalam apa-apa penerbitan.

Jelas mereka, langkah ini adalah penting untuk mempelihara martabat nama wira mereka.

"Meskipun dia telah menjaringkan gol sendiri Sabtu lalu, namun kami masih menganggapnya sebagai wira kami. Kalau bukan kami yang sokong, siapa lagi?" kata wakil kelab tersebut, Abdul Rahman Musa.

Kelab itu juga telah menyaman beberapa pihak lain, termasuk kelab penyokong pasukan negeri lain, atas penggunaan nama Daudsu.

"Saya sebenarnya tidak tahu namanya sudah menjadi hak cipta. Jadi terpaksalah kami menggunankan D***s* sahaja di Facebook kami, serta menggunakan bahasa yang baku dan gramatis. Mereka juga tidak puas hati atas gurauan kami terhadap pasukan mereka dan juga D***s*, sehingga mencipta page yang, walaupun pada dasarnya mengutuk admin kami, tetapi sebenarnya mengutuk seluruh negeri kami," kata salah seorang AJK kelab penyokong pasukan bola sepak untuk sebuah negeri yang terletak di pantai barat Semenanjung Malaysia.

Apabila ditanya, Daudsu sendiri tidak mengetahui apa-apa mengenai perkara ini, sebaliknya hanya meminta kami untuk memberikannya segelas Milo ais yang telah dipesannya sejam sebelum itu.

Dalam perkembangan lain, blog ini telah menerima sepucuk surat saman daripada kelab penyokong Kelantan FA berhubung dengan penggunaan nama Daudsu di blog ini.

rafney87's Friday Rage List

AAAAARRRRRGGGGGHHHHH I AM RAFNEY87 AND HERE IS A LIST OF THINGS THAT MADE ME ANGRY THIS WEEK!!!

1. HAVING TO WEAR SCHOOL TRACKSUITS - THEY CLEARLY HAVE NO SENSE! THE SCHOOL'S TRACKSUITS ARE JUST UGLY! IT'S DARK BLUE WITH RED AND YELLOW STRIPES DOWN THE SIDES! I AM NOT A CATALAN! NONE OF US ARE! IT MAKES ME WANT TO GRAB GERARD PIQUE AND MAKE HIM SPONTANEOUSLY BLEED ON THE TRACKSUITS! AAAAHHHHH IT'S UGLIER THAN CARLOS TEVEZ!
 

2. LINING UP IN A SET POSITION ACCORDING TO RACE - THIS IS NOT HOW YOU ACHIEVE 1MALAYSIA AT ALL! IN FACT IT CREATES MORE BARRIERS THAN BEFORE WHEN WE ARE SEPARATED! AND WHY DO WE HAVE LINE UP IN A SET POSITION???!!! THIS IS NOT FOOTBALL! WHAT IF PEOPLE ARE LATE OR ABSENT OR IN HOSPITAL DUE TO A PAINT THINNER-INDUCED COMA??!!! THIS MOVE DOES NOT MAKE SENSE AT ALL! AS IF THE POLITICIANS HAVEN'T SCREWED EVERYTHING UP ENOUGH YET!

3. ANDY GRAY BEING SACKED FROM SKY - HE DESERVES IT! NO ONE CAN MAKE SEXIST COMMENTS TWICE A WEEK AND GET AWAY WITH IT! IF I WAS THE BOSS I WOULD DROPKICK HIM IN THE SHINS INTO THE ORBIT. BUT THEN HIS COMMENTS WOULD BE HEARD ALL OVER THE WORLD! WHY MUST MY PLANS NOT BE PERFECT??!?!!!?

4. VEGETABLES - I JUST HATE IT WHEN THEY PUT THESE DEVIL PLANTS IN MY FOOD! TWO DAYS AGO A GUY OFFERED ME A PIECE OF BISCUIT AND I ATE IT! WHEN I WAS DONE HE SAID THERE WERE VEGETABLES IN THEM! NOW I FEAR I AM UNDER THEIR CONTROL!

5. NASCAR 2011 : THE GAME NOT BEING RELEASED IN MALAYSIA - THIS COMPLETELY INFURIATES ME! DON'T THEY KNOW THAT I LOVE NASCAR GAMES???!!! HOW ELSE AM I SUPPOSED TO BLOW JIMMIE JOHNSON AND KYLE BUSCH INTO SMITHEREENS???!!! OR FLIP CARS OVER LIKE IN 'TALLADEGA NIGHTS' ???!!! ACTIVISION BETTER HAVE INSURANCE BECAUSE I'M GOING TO RELEASE DE JONG ONTO THEIR POOR SOULS!

6. PEOPLE WHO ABUSE THEIR POWERS - I CAN LIST A LOT OF NAMES FOR THIS ONE, ESPECIALLY THOSE FROM MY SCHOOL! BUT SINCE I USED UP EVERY LAST CENT BUYING A SUPPLY OF PAINT THINNER FOR ME TO PASS OUT ON LATER, I DECIDED NOT TO! I CAN'T AFFORD ATTORNEYS AND LAWYERS TO DEFEND ME WHEN THE POWER-MAD PEOPLE SUE ME! YOU GUYS KNOW WHO THEY ARE! AAAAHHHH WHY MUST PAINT THINNER BE SO EXPENSIVE???!!!

7. MY IDIOT NEIGHBOUR DANISH WAN - I WAS MINDING MY OWN BUSINESS WHILE CREATING NEW MIXTURES TO ACHIEVE THE ULTIMATE PAINT THINNER FLAVOUR WHEN MY IDIOT NEIGHBOUR DANISH WAN AND HIS TWO GOOBER BROTHERS STOPPED BY AT MY HOUSE, BYPASSING ALL MY SECURITY SYSTEMS! HE THEN ASKED ME IF I WANT TO JOIN THEM WATCH LIVERPOOL PLAY IN HD! I TOLD HIM "SURE", BUT I SAID IT IN A WAY SO THAT HE KNOWS I'LL BE USING HIS BLOOD IN THOSE MIXTURES! WE ENDED UP WATCHING THE GAME ANYWAY, AND IT WAS BORING! WHEN I GOT BACK I DISCOVERED MY KITCHEN HAS BEEN BLOWN UP BECAUSE OF THE MIXTURES BEING LEFT ON STOVES! THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU HIRE MANCHESTER CITY'S DEFENDERS AS YOUR SECURITY SYSTEM!

I AM RAFNEY87 AND THIS HAS BEEN MY FRIDAY RAGE LIST! GOD BLESS!!! 

rafney87's Friday Rage List

AAAAARRRRRGGGGGHHHHH I AM RAFNEY87 AND HERE IS A LIST OF THINGS THAT MADE ME ANGRY THIS WEEK!!!

1. BALOTELLI SAYING THAT CITY'S STRIKEFORCE IS THE BEST IN THE WORLD - I DON'T KNOW WHERE HE GETS THAT CRAP! IF THEY HAVE THE BEST STRIKEFORCE WHY ARE THEY NOT IN FIRST PLACE? HE IS JUST AN IGNORANT KID WHO DOESN'T KNOW ANYTHING! MAYBE HE DRANK SOME PAINT THINNER, BUT THAT'S MY THING! AAAHHHH, GET YOUR OWN M.O!!!

2. HAVING TO WEAR FULL UNIFORMS ON WEDNESDAYS - THIS IS RIDICULOUS! THE GOVERNMENT ALREADY LET US WEAR SCHOOL T-SHIRTS ON WEDNESDAYS! WHY DOES THE PRINCIPAL HAVE TO MESS EVERYTHING UP? THIS REMINDS ME OF THE TIME WHEN I TRIED TO CROSS-BREED LLAMAS AND LIONS! BELIEVE ME, IT WAS UGLY!

3. GOING HOME AT 2 PM ON SATURDAYS - AGAIN THE PRINCIPAL IS TRYING TO SCREW US UP! IT'S A SATURDAY, FOR GOD'S SAKE! LET US REST ON THE WEEKEND BY LETTING US GO HOME EARLY! WE ARE ALREADY TIRED FROM TRYING TO LAUNCH ROCKETS IN THE SCIENCE LAB, OR GETTING HIGH FROM INHALING SULPHUR IN THE CHEMISTRY LAB! AAAHHH, IT MAKES ME FEEL LIKE I WANT TO DROPKICK AN OVEN INTO THE ORBIT OF THE ISS!

4. VEGETABLES - I DON'T KNOW WHY I HATE THEM, BUT I DO! MOST LIKELY BECAUSE THEY TASTE LIKE DARTH MAUL'S BLOOD AFTER OBI-WAN SLICED HIM IN HALF IN 'THE PHANTOM MENACE'! AND DON'T ASK ME WHERE I GOT HIS BLOOD FROM! IT DIDN'T EVEN TASTE LIKE VINTAGE PAINT THINNER!

5. RAFAEL'S DISCIPLINARY HEARING - THE FA ARE A BUNCH OF ARROGANT TWITS! WHAT RAFAEL DID WAS TOTALLY JUSTIFIED! AT LEAST THE REFEREE WAS STILL STANDING AFTER HE SENT OFF RAFAEL! IF IT WAS ME, I WOULD'VE KICKED HIM IN THE GUT LIKE ZLATAN IBRAHIMOVICH DOES! AND THEN MAYBE DROPKICKING HIM IN THE NECK AND HEADBUTT HIM ON THE CHEST!

6. THE 'PONING MONING' CAPTION IN 'THE GEORGIAN 09/10' - THAT WAS JUST AWFUL! EVERYONE IN THE WORLD KNOWS THAT NOBODY IN NEGERI SEMBILAN SPEAKS LIKE THAT! IT MAKES THE PEOPLE WHO MAKE THE CAPTION LOOK LIKE TOTAL IDIOTS! WHICH THEY ARE! AT LEAST PUT SOMETHING LIKE 'MY BRAIN IS EXPLODING' OR 'I HATE THIS BIEBER MUSIC'! JUSTIN BIEBER IS NOT AS GOOD AS BUNKFACE! EVERYONE KNOWS BUNKFACE SHOULD AT LEAST WIN A FEW GRAMMY AWARDS BY NOW! BUT THE FAT AND SLOBBY AMERICANS ARE BIASED AGAINST ASIAN TALENT!

7. MY IDIOT NEIGHBOUR DANISH WAN - I WAS TRYING TO CROSS-BREED ALPACAS AND TIGERS ON THURSDAY IN MY BACKYARD WHEN MY NEIGHBOUR DANISH WAN AND HIS TWO GOOBER BROTHERS CAME BY FOR A VISIT! HE ASKED ME IF I WANTED TO GET A BURGER WITH HIM! I SAID 'SURE' BUT I SAID IT IN A TONE SO THAT HE UNDERSTANDS THAT I WILL USE HIM FOR CROSS-BREEDING WITH IMPALAS! HOWEVER, HE DIDN'T UNDERSTAND IT, AND I ENDED UP GETTING THAT BURGER WITH HIM! I REGRETTED IT SINCE, AS THE PLACE DID NOT HAVE PAINT THINNER FOR SAUCE AND MY CROSS-BREEDING PROJECT FAILED AS THE TIGERS ATE ALL THE ALPACAS! NOW I'M STUCK WITH SOME MOSQUITOES AND A COUPLE OF TURTLES!

I AM RAFNEY87 AND THIS HAS BEEN MY FRIDAY RAGE LIST! GOD BLESS!!!